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When loved ones stop checking in on your cancer

Woman looking out the window at home

Whether you’re managing a new cancer diagnosis, undergoing treatment, or navigating survivorship, having friends and family to lean on is crucial during this challenging period. However, some people may not know what to say or how to help, leading them to withdraw completely. This lack of support when you need it most can feel isolating and add to the emotional distress you’re already experiencing.

This phenomenon, recently coined “cancer ghosting,” refers to the feeling of being ignored or abandoned by friends and family after a cancer diagnosis. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. A survey conducted by the American Cancer Society found that 60% of people felt socially isolated following a cancer diagnosis or treatment.

If you’re feeling ghosted by friends or family, here are some ways to cope with the fallout and emotions you’re experiencing. 

Remember it’s not your fault

It’s important to understand that it’s not your fault if loved ones pull away after your cancer diagnosis. Although reasons may vary, people may disconnect because they struggle to manage their own fears, emotions, and mental health, or they may incorrectly assume you want to be left alone. Remind yourself that their behavior is not caused by anything you did or said.

Deepen your existing relationships

For the family members and friends who have stepped up during this time, express your gratitude for their support. Breast cancer survivor Natasha Carlson shares that after losing contact with two close friends following her diagnosis, she learned to invest her time and energy in those who stand by her, even when times get tough.

Talk to a professional

With over half of cancer patients and survivors feeling socially isolated, remember that you’re not alone in this experience. Finding a licensed professional to talk to can help you manage your emotions and provide you with tools to communicate your needs and feelings more effectively.

Expand your network and make new connections

Although you may not be feeling up for making new connections, joining a support group whether it be in-person or virtually can provide you with people who understand the unique challenges you’re going through. It’s an opportunity to share experiences, provide or receive advice, or simply listen and feel understood. Below are some resources that can help you find a support group that fits your needs.

  • American Cancer Society (ACS): ACS offers both in-person and online support groups for various types of cancer. 
  • CancerCare: CancerCare offers free, professional support services, including counseling and support groups for anyone affected by cancer. Their live group sessions are led by oncology social workers.
  • Cancer Support Community: This organization provides free support groups, counseling, and education for cancer patients and their families, both online and at local centers across the United States.
  • Outcomes4Me Community: If you’re a breast cancer survivor or patient, join Community and explore topics including treatments, clinical trials, family and relationships, and more.

If you would like to connect with an Outcomes4Me oncology nurse practitioner at no charge through the Outcomes4Me app, using the “Ask Outcomes4Me” button.

Navigate your cancer journey with confidence

Your cancer experience is unique and so is our app. Here’s why it’s your must-have companion:

  • Get personalized support and treatment options
  • Connect with a community of cancer patients and caregivers
  • Track your symptoms and medications
  • Access the latest cancer research and clinical trials

Download the Outcomes4Me Cancer Care App

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