How do I decide on cancer treatment when I'm scared and conflicted?

Well hello everyone as of Monday the 20th after all tests and imaging have come back. I'm in stage 3 things are moving so fast but at the same slow motion if that makes sense. It hasn't been a year since my first cousin Cynthia passed away from cancer. I watched her do everything. My Mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and she didn't accept the diagnosis and did no treatment. I said years ago I wouldn't do chemo and radiation but I also wasn't in it. I feel like a hypocrite because I just don't know which way to go I haven't seen all my grandkids yet my mother was blessed to meet all her grandkids and some great grandkids that's not my story. Lord I need you to take this . It's your battle God in your son's name Amen