How do you cope with feeling blue after mastectomy surgery?

Amanda you are not alone. I had a double mastectomy March 03,2025. It took me a few weeks to even want to look at my body. When I showered my husband helped me I refused to look down at my chest or on the mirror. I am a mother to 4 daughters and I don’t ever want them to think that our breast define us as women, but I feel like I lost a piece of myself and I miss it. I’ve had reconstructive surgery, and I still feel a piece of me is missing. I know this doesn’t help you, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. This journey we are on is a roller coaster of emotions .

These feelings are completely normal and shared by many others who have gone through similar experiences. The emotional impact often hits in waves, and it's okay to grieve changes to your body while also taking time to process this major life event. Many community members find it helpful to connect with others who understand this journey, whether through support groups, counseling, or sharing experiences here where others can offer encouragement and practical coping strategies.

Hi Amanda my name is Mary. I too had a double mastectomy and I can tell u it’s 13 yrs. and I feel great. I chose not to have implants because I had had a breast reduction 25 yrs. ago and I was on the table for 5 hrs. So I decided I couldn’t put my body through that again. Anyway u need to decide what’s good for u and stick with it. U’ll be ok. “One day at a time” as my husband tells me. Anyway I’m here . Mary

I am not sure I will be able to accept one breast gone and the other there I think I will look like a freak The drs feel i am to old to face reconstruction and mastectomy

Hi actually u don’t look like a freak. U just go around flat chested. Great feeling not to have to worry about a bra and u look with clothes. I love it! How old are u if u don’t mind me asking? And where do u live? Mary

I am 76 having one breast removed it is going to look one breast there one breast not

I live in Az

Left mastectomy with skin and nipple sparing on 2/18. I am finishing my M.D. and my DCIS stage 0 (thank goodness) knocked me off my feet emotionally. Even with all that I know (and my Titty Army of many friends, colleagues, and an amazing partner for support). I decided on reconstruction which is a two surgery process. I could hardly look at myself, too. I did feel better after my 1 week post-op, but I still struggle with my identity and current reality. I think I would be struggling even more without the reconstruction (I currently call my left boob, Medusa, which my coworkers and I originally named Glitter Tits. - I thought the cancer looked like glitter on my mammogram and my coworkers nicknamed it, humor helps me, lol). But currently my breast looks weird, has little/ no feeling and at 40 this has been really hard. I am so sorry for your pain struggle. If you ever want to chat or need a warrior in your Titty Army- I am here for you. You are going through something huge and the fact that you are here, surviving, and healing tells me you are going to make it through this. Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to have hope. You are a survivor. Side hugs. Iykyk

Love your attitude and spirit, Cristal! 😊😁

Hi believe when I tell you I have moments too and ask why? But u have to keep pushing and praying that eventually u get better and able to move on! “One Day At A Time!” Mary❤️

I had my left breast removed in 2002. I opted not to do reconstruction because I didn’t want the feel of a foreign object in my body and I didn’t wanna go through the surgeries. It’s taken me a while to comfortable not wearing my prosthetic — I slept in it for over a year after my surgery, but I don’t anymore. My compression bra with prosthetic is comfortable and when I’m wearing it, I feel balanced and normal in my clothes. Now I don’t mind looking at myself without clothes either. I focus on toning up my body. I’m doing chair yoga and I can see definition coming back to my abs. It feels good to be in my body today. It took me a while, but it’s worth it to be here. Focus on the things that you can change and what feels better and you’ll get through this!

Janet- Your age would not be the reason a doctor discourages reconstruction. Many women in their 70s do well with mastectomy and reconstruction. Overall health, cancer specifics and progression are reasons they would recommend against. I encourage you to be your own advocate and seek second opinions.

You look at yourself when you are ready. It is normal and okay, this experience is forever life changing. I can only speak for myself but I'm sure others would agree. Cancer changes who you once were. I look at life, people, circumstances, and situations with a different set of lenses, mindset, priority, faith, etc. Be blessed and I hope you continue to recover and do well!! Make sure you have a circle of supporters that can help you navigate your new normal like friends, family, neighbors, etc and keep posting here.

Vonda Ty this whole site is uplifting cause u have someone to talk to that understands exactly knows where u are coming from. I’m very fortunate my husband has been my rock since this horrible nightmare has started 13 yrs. ago. He lost his first wife to breast cancer and now here we are. I was telling one of the girls on the site that we’re trying to move to Naples but everytime we turn another test, infusion,blood and Dr.’s appointments. It’s very hard. But hopefully we’ll be able to move in the next weeks. I live in Fl. Hope u’re feeling well. Mary❤️

How do I accept the removing of one breast and how it's going to look and feel

Well my Aunt did it and had a false put in on that side. U couldn’t tell the difference. She got use to it. Why didn’t u do that one while u were doing the other side? It would had been easier. U’ll be fine give it time! I’m here if u want to vent. Mary❤️

Mary Z I wish I did it your way and got no fillers and implants. When you said you "feel great" sold me!!! I found out I had cancer in 2019 on my right beautiful boob and opted to do a double mastectomy because, like Janet V, I thought I would look like a freak. I have been uncomfortable in a so many ways since. I had radiation in between a filler and my implants so that probably makes it worse. However, it feels like I have a really tight bra on 24/7 that I can't take off. Amanda, I wish you well!! You will get used to missing your body and self. Please try to remain positive. I know that's annoying to hear, but it's essential. After all the shit we go thru, our goal is to stay alive as long as we can. Remember that, and also remember we are all here for you and know what you are going through. ❤️

Hi all I know it’s been so Much easier! Not having to go for size and look. Too many other things to worry about with horrible disease. Today I go for a pet-scan for a follow up and course and a pray there’s nothing knew as always! I feel that we’re very lucky cause have this site to be able to have people we can talk to express our feelings to who understand who are going through the same thing . That’s was makes it easier! I’m here always! Mary❤️

Because I didn’t have the BRACCA gene my insurance wouldn’t cover a double mastectomy. They determined it would be cosmetic so I just had the left breast removed. I’ve learned to accept my body this way. It was a process over a couple of years - therapy and talking with others has helped along with time. In the store where I went to get fitted for my prosthesis and compression garments, there was a picture book of women who had different types of breast cancer surgeries, and it was actually helpful to look at that and see how different bodies looked so that I could start to accept my new normal. Ultimately, I choose to be grateful to still be here and focus on the things that I can change about my body today and how I feel in it! To be able to move comfortably after waking up stiff in the morning, for example. Stretching and simple chair yoga exercises have made a huge difference. Grateful to have been given more time. It also helps to find a way to be useful in the world. I love to rescue animals and have fostered several since my cancer diagnosis - they give me so much more than I give them and help me stay active and walking every day. Some days are harder than others, but one day at a time it gets better.

Hi Amanda, I also had a mastectomy of the right breast. It’s pretty much healed now. I have highs and lows quite a bit. I read a lot about my condition. It does help to get a better understanding of why and what I can do to lift my spirits and get through this. Big hug for you. Don’t ever give up!!

Hi this Mary I don’t quite understand why ur insurance wouldn’t cover it. I didn’t have the genetic testing done and bracas don’t until 15 years later and both were covered. Everything came back negative accept my Dr found the braca gene in my tumor years later. But I’ve had no trouble with the insurance. I understand once that started paying for everything concerning the cancer they can’t stop. I’m going almost 14 yrs now. Good luck let me know how u do. Mary❤️

Never too old if that is what you want. I did at 78.

U got that right!❤️

I had a double mastectomy in November. I wasn’t able to look at myself in the beginning. The doctor was able to save my nipples. I am having reconstructive surgery. I decided, I did not want to look down and only see belly. No one will probably ever see them, but I’m doing this for myself. My cousin had a mastectomy and choose to not have reconstructive surgery. I’ve heard that prosthetics are hot and heavy. I don’t think I could handle that.

I am 2.5 years out. When I first looked I thought it would be worse than it was. Now I look and it is worse than in the beginning. Lumps and bumps and mounds. The plastic surgeon said it will be hard to fix. I have been married for 45 years and have never shown my husband. I am alive and really that is what matters.