Did my choice not to have children cause my breast cancer?

Oh Leila, I just want to gently say that the “72%” stat isn’t accurate but I’m sure wherever you read it the way it was presented was confusing. Breast cancer risk is influenced by so many factors genetics, environment, random chance and even the protective effect of pregnancy (that you referenced) isn’t absolute. Plenty of women who’ve had children get HR+/HER2- breast cancer (myself included) and plenty who’ve never been pregnant never get it. That said, it’s completely normal to want to trace back and find the reason why this happened. We all do it. The hard reality is that we’ll likely never know exactly why any one person develops cancer. You didn’t “cause” this by living your life your way. Please give yourself grace. This diagnosis isn’t karma, it’s not punishment, and it’s not a reflection of your worth or your choices. 💛 Suzanne (Community Moderator)

Believe what you will. Breast cancer is an equal opportunity challenger. I have 2 grown healthy children and no family history of any cancers. It’s not karma. It’s life. Stay positive and cultivate a healthy support network. If you don’t already have one - there are so many resources. Stay strong!

I have 2 children, no genetic predisposition to cancer, still got cancer. I totally understand the need to get why you have this so you can understand it and take some semblance of control over a totally out of control situation.

You have done nothing wrong. Cancer chooses who it wants. I now have liver and spine metz after starting out with dcis and stage 1a in 2019. There is no family hx of breast cancer that I have been able to find. I wish you all the best.

I have the same breast cancer as you and had 2 full term pregnancies. 30 years ago. I have done the same. Tried to figure out how this happened to me. I come back to birth control pills, chemicals in our environment, stress, being overweight and or too much wine. We may never know. Stay strong and don’t blame yourself. 🙏🏻

Hi Laurie H. Can I ask what treatment you received for your initial cancer? Did you develop a second primary? Or Mets were just found. I’m sorry you are going through this. Hoping treatment goes well.

I’m child free as well and thought there is some sense of loss in not having children; I chose not to and I also felt if I didn’t have a good partner wouldn’t have kids. Please do not beat yourself up for your choice! My niece is 36 yrs old with two boys under 5 and she has triple negative!!! Worse off than me!! Keep the faith this is not karma

I have 2 children, breastfed for a total of nearly 4 years thinking that was cancer protective, yet here I am. :)

Wendy I had lumpectomy radiation and Arimidex. 2023 dx invasive lobular on other breast Arimidex was changed to tamoxifen. 2024 the lobular Mets to spine liver and hip. Chemo is not getting rid of the cancer but it is keeping it from spreading.

Thank you Laurie H.

Cancer doesn't develop because of personal choices about family planning - it's a complex disease with many contributing factors, and this diagnosis isn't a reflection of your life decisions or values. While certain life experiences may influence risk factors, many people who have had children also develop the same type of cancer, and there are numerous protective and risk factors that researchers are still working to understand. The feelings of regret and self-blame are completely understandable when facing such a difficult diagnosis, but please know that this community is here to support you through treatment and beyond. Since you mentioned feeling lonely, consider reaching out by scrolling down the page from the Home Screen of the app to find the Ask Outcomes4Me box to get in touch for a more personal conversation and connect with clinical care experts, or call 988 if you need immediate emotional support.