How do I stay strong in my faith when facing cancer treatment decisions?

God is good all the time!!! Amen , This is to encourage myself as well as others. Today I had a procedure for the Port. Feeling hypocritical if that's a word I am a very strong believer and I don't even want to insert the word but. I even had to repent and ask for forgiveness cuz I felt like I was being judgmental I've said it so many times if I ever come up positive for cancer I will not accept chemo or radiation. And here I am is to start chemo and radiation prior to getting my port today was supposed to be done Friday I had food poisoning and that was the worst horrible feeling ended up in the hospital for a day but that pain and I'm asking the Lord Lord no in my weakness he is strong I'm just talking these feelings out because I'm not lying I feel like I'm struggling the fence if we know the word the word says you can't be in the middle you have to be the cold or hot. But I can do all things in Christ Jesus who strengthens me I keep quoting scriptures to myself as I'm walking this road