How do you cope with cancer when everything feels overwhelming?

I'm doing Joe Tippens. A Dr in my town nearly killed me when she put a port into my heart and lung and I almost died. I had to have a heart surgeon pull it out. The nurses and Drs never saw anything like it before. She told me family she didn't understand my anatomy. I can't sue. It's impossible. The next one put in caused excruciating pain. They took out a 16.5 tumor Dec 22 2022. In Feb 2025 they found tumors in my liver and lung also. I can't hardly eat anything. Food is not my friend. It causes excruciating pain. I'm devistated. Besides doing every herb known to man and the dewormers, the tumors grew and there's a new one. I saw it in my medical chart. I haven't spoke to the Dr yet about it. I started a fast today and just want to do juicing with kale and carrots . They told me in Feb that I was gonna die soon. And chemo would just keep me alive a little longer. I'm in bad pain today. I've had more bad days than good. I am a single 57 year old woman that is so lonely and so afraid. And I have my dogs but I wish someone , like a man, loved me so he could be with me and hold me through this. I love God and I ask where he is too. I'm terrified. I don't know how to do this right now. And I want to eat. I was gonna make turkey loaf tonight but it will just cause more pain. My life is so sad and I can't even enjoy much of it anymore and I miss my family as they live a ways away from me. I came here to connect with others so I can be encouraged to keep going. My beautiful sweet girl I called the daughter I never had committed suicide in August. My son is in jail . The man I loved was an horrible abuser, narcissist , and he died in 2023 and I'm finally healing from that. My mom has dementia....Life just is so unfair and I wanted so much more out of life. And it feels like it's coming to an end now. And I'm fighting to live while I feel like I'm dying.