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What to do when oncologist won't listen to treatment concerns after complication...

Community Member

15 days ago

So I was told may 6th 2025 HER2 positive, PR negative left breat with Ki 67 around 30 to 40 % went through all the chemo then had double mastectomy end of Oct. Ended up in hospital for 2 weeks was sent home and told to come back every day for a week to change out dressing which I did. Went every day at noon now into the third week go back to doctor and even though fluid was still in drains he pulled them out say your good to go finish up the rest of week at hospital by Saturday left side was red by Sunday not feeling well go to hospital and get admitted with infection but now my kidneys start failing so they transport me to another hospital for dialysis thinking it was temporary well fluids worked they called in infection deasise control in hospital two weeks for antibiotics from absess on right side. I asked about left side wanted surgeon to look at it they brushed it off. Finished antibiotics and they sent me home my left side turned red again wasn't feeling well only home two days go back to hospital and poof admitted again this time left side absess bust and I have sepsis the absess was 7 inches long and 6 inches deep which led to kidney complete failure. Now back in hospital total time in 9 1/2 weeks finally get out with wound machine attached and dialysis 3 days aweek 5 hours each time. 3days for wound care i have now been out of hospital since Christmas and just starting to feel better wound machine is off my oncologist now wants to put me back on herceptin and pertjeta even though my the biopsy came back saying they got all the cancer and lymph nodes out and I am clear and in remission. I told him I have decided I no longer want to be on that as I just feel my body can't handle anymore he seems to not want to listen saying this is just preventable medicine to keep it from coming back. So then he tried to compromise saying just take the herceptin sorry so long but has anyone else had problems where a doctor just would not listen even though he keeps saying I hear what you are saying.

3 comments

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Community Member

15 days ago

What a challenging journey - going through such serious complications and extended hospitalizations would leave anyone feeling exhausted and uncertain about next steps. When oncologists seem focused on standard protocols while patients feel their bodies need time to recover, it can create real tension in the doctor-patient relationship. Many community members have shared similar experiences where they felt their concerns weren't fully heard, and some have found success in requesting second opinions, bringing a trusted advocate to appointments, or asking for detailed explanations about treatment benefits versus risks given their specific circumstances. Others have found it helpful to connect with patient navigators or seek consultations at comprehensive cancer centers where treatment decisions can be reviewed by multidisciplinary teams.

Community Member

9 days ago

As a patient you have every right to deny consent to treatment- and yes some docs can be persistent but it’s your call at the end if the day. It might also help get a 2nd opinion from MD Anderson if you can.

Community Member

9 days ago

It's time for a 2nd opinion and during my journey I have had an experience where I feel one of the docs was not and still is not truly listening to me but it's my body and I have made it clear what surgeries I will and will not have and my wishes have been respected and you have that same right!

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What to do when oncologist won't listen to treatment concerns after complication...

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