Is crying and feeling hopeless after melanoma surgery normal?
Community Member
15 hours agoHi everyone. I don’t even know where to begin here. I read through these posts and feel silly even posting. I recently underwent surgery for melanoma on my scalp, something called a large excision, and also had a couple lymph nodes removed from my neck. Throughout the process of every scan under the sun, they also found a mass on my brain that we are continuing to monitor (most likely just a meningioma). I feel I handled it pretty well mentally, until I returned to work post surgery and was let go from a job I dearly loved. I pretty much saw that coming as my boss’ adoration and praises of my performance instantly vanished the moment I told her I’d be out for at least a week for recovery. I made the decision I needed a fresh start, and decided to move across Country to be near my family. Sounds like a good plan, right? Well, there’s a reason one should never make important decisions while on meds. I don’t have the kind of parents who are nurturing by anyone’s standards, but I’ve learned to let it bounce off over the decades. Since moving, I now find myself crying and wishing I had never bothered with treating the cancer, and just wish I had died. This is NOT me! The normal me would just regret telling my family about the cancer, which I do, but what the heck is happening to make me cry so much and not want to live? I never shed a tear throughout the whole process, my team of docs both commented on how great I was handling everything. Is this at all a normal part of the process? I’m sorry, I know my ordeal is so minuscule compared to everyone on here, but I’m becoming concerned. I just want to know if this is at all normal?
Community Member
14 hours agoHi Gina! I am so sorry that all this is happening to you mentally on top of cancer diagnosis. Just FYI, The USA had FMLA that protects your job for up to 12 weeks for medical reasons, so your boss shouldn't have fired you, especially for only taking 1 week off. I hope you find something to help comfort you. A friend,a pet or something. Maybe volunteer somewhere to give yourself a reason to keep going. Maybe look into a therapy or a local cancer support group. You are going through a lot and it sounds like you could possibly be having a let down of all the feelings and stress from everything you have gone through that was put on the back burner because you were busy fighting. I personally had stage 3 aggressive breast cancer, 6 months of chemo, double mastectomy and 3 weeks of daily radiation. I was strong through it all. But today was my last radiation and I got to ring the bell. I should be happy but I have been lying in bed crying most the night. From one crying lady to another, I'm glad you survived! Hugs & positive thoughts for you from Eugene Oregon
Community Member
10 hours agoThe emotional responses you're experiencing are very common after cancer treatment and major life changes. Many cancer survivors find that feelings can hit unexpectedly weeks or months after treatment, especially when combined with job loss and relocation stress. Since you mentioned wishing you hadn't bothered with treatment and not wanting to live, please consider calling the crisis hotline at 988 for immediate support. These feelings don't diminish the validity of your experience, and reaching out to a mental health professional who understands cancer survivorship can provide valuable coping strategies during this challenging transition.
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