Friend Pulls Away After Cancer Diagnosis

Hi Liz! Everyone reacts differently! You can’t control how people act or react to the news. Your first priority is yourself, self care is number one! Some people will take longer than others to process the shock. Just like us when we were told that we have cancer. There is a book that I would highly recommend “Through the storm “ by Ellie Urban She explains the many phases that we go through mentally, physically, and with relationships. And offers great advice on how to handle them. Good luck! Keep up the fight! “Don’t Let The Bad Days Win!”

Hi Liz,My hairdresser and friend of over 25 years lost her son a while ago to brain cancer, when I told her I had breast cancer, I haven’t heard from her since. Doesn’t answer calls or texts. I guess too close for comfort. You are not alone

It’s very common. First witnessed it when my father lost his leg to cancer. Former friends avoided him. Someone very close was cut off by friends and family. One even told her that she saw her at her door but didn’t answer. Many conditions spark this result in humans who can’t face their own mortality and possible illnesses. Good luck, you are not alone.🤞

Yeah, I’ve been battling for the last three years. My rare cancer and people just don’t know what to say or do and then they’ll just say hey you look great but they don’t realize how crappy you really feel and so it’s hard when you have to say no stuff and plan for stuff you can’t be spontaneous. I’ve just figured those around me who I’ve got are the ones I’m just gonna have to work with and then I’ve also lost other people because I don’t believe in their current political views so unless you’re going through an illness through all this, you don’t understand what’s being affected and seeing other people die and lose treatments like I have Because of the crap going on and many more gonna die because of it but other than that with a friends, it’s just hard I’ve just though I found some great people that I probably would’ve never found if I had not had cancer. I met some great friends at a cancer program at the YMCA. I have a Reiki Healer and people like that that I’ve Started to get to know and then other cancer people I’ve helped share my alternative stuff that I’m doing it’s just all a perspective, but it is very sad. Sometimes all we need is just someone to sit with us and chill not talk about cancer not look at us like we’re gonna die tomorrow. It’s all about making memories and Doing the best. We can good luck to you. I’m always into talking to people with cancer because they understand more than others peace love and light to you.

Does anyone else feel frustrated when people say how great you look and you feel like shit! I know they are just trying to help but after hearing it over and over it does become frustrating. I’m not sure there’s anything else to say but I know that frustrates me. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I found that most people simply don't know what to do or say. Some just disappear others give the you look good and if you need anything. It does seem to allow people's true colors. Is what it is smile 😀 on through.

I’ve just learned to say thank you because no one knows how bad you feel on the inside. I used to get offended a little bit for some reason like you don’t know what the hell I’m going through but learned that’s not what people mean

I often hear the comment you look good. At first it upset me but now I just say thank you. I think that they just don’t know what to say. Sometimes I never hear from them again.

Does anybody else get tired from all the “How are you feeling today?” requests from friends, family and even the health care providers?

This experience is unfortunately more common than many realize, and the pain of feeling unsupported during such a vulnerable time is completely valid. Some people struggle to cope with serious illness - even when it's happening to someone else - and while this doesn't excuse the behavior, it may help explain why someone who cares about you might pull away when you need them most. Consider reaching out to others in your support network or connecting with fellow community members here who truly understand what you're going through.