How do I cope with life after beating stage four cancer?

Hey Lisa, my suggestion is to just be as straightforward as possible without being confrontational. I'm also fortunate to have had two PET scans in a row that showed no active cancer cells. My cancer is stage 3a lung cancer in the right upper lobe. It actually dissolved two of my ribs and a small portion of my spine. I do have chronic pain and just recently underwent my second nerve block procedure. I've been on immunotherapy with Keytruda for a little more than a year. Expectations are for a total of two years. I'm freaking out too and I think that's normal for the situation we're going through. I find that most people are reluctant to bring the topic up but if I do, they are mostly interested and engaging. If I feel there is any hesitation, I have no problem with changing the subject. Try to stay as positive as you can. I use distraction techniques and it seems to work well most of the time. Sometimes I need outside input to get my mind off of it. I also have professional counseling which helps reinforce my distraction strategies. I find it to be a safe and non-judgmental environment. Keeping a positive attitude is very important for my journey. I wish you strength and positive energy in your journey!

Lisa, I too am having trouble wrapping my head around all aspects of this strange disease I suddenly have. My emotions are all over the place. I’m just at the beginning of treatment in fact it doesn’t start for a couple of weeks. Freaks me out that treatment may be postponed because I don’t weight enough to get started so now I’m trying hard to gain weight. I pray that you find peace with all of this. I pretty sure I’ll be in your headspace too when this is over and I’m hopefully cancer free. I understand how you feel, I truly do.

Thank you Gary and Katie. I feel as if somehow I have a weird sort of survivors guilt even though I’m not “ cured”. It sounds as if both of you have faced a lot of challenges. I hope you can get to my spot where you are pain free and there is no active cancer. I guess i just have a really tough time because I have been extremely private about my whole life “ journey” only telling family and a couple of close friends. Couldn’t stand being pitied and didn’t honestly need a lot in the way of support outside of my medical team ( which was FANTASTIC) I never lost hair, looked sick and honestly just suffered from fatigue. Still do. Guess I just don’t want to draw the wrong kind of attention to myself but wish there was more I could do to help others. Anonymously. Every single person has such a different experience. Mine was honestly quite miraculous and I’m thankful but so private.

Im new to this. I had a car wreck. Was minor but my back hurt and my doc did a MRI and wow right into stage lung camera. Mast to liver brain and lymp nodes. Im 75 im just scared to death.

Stage 4

Hey Barbara, I'm very sorry to hear your news. I'm 75 now as well. I was diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer in November of 2023. Even though every person's experience is different, individual, I understand being scared to death. This is a completely normal reaction. I realize none of us are getting out of this alive, most of us would much prefer to face the finality of our mortality as far into the future as possible. I have had extensive mental health counseling regarding my mortality. I also lost my previous wife to lung cancer at 53 years of age. We had about a year to have some difficult conversations about mortality. I think the counseling was very helpful for me. I understand that there is no way to make the end go away, I believe it can relieve some of the scariness surrounding it. I hope you have some loved ones and friends to help support you. I am comfortable speaking about my own journey to the end, which is probably fairly close for me at this time. If you think I could help you in any way, please let me know. I'm hoping you find the strength to give you peace! Lovingly!

My day has been rough. Im stage 1 invasive mammary carsomina. Please excuse the spelling. Im waiting for radiation therapy of 20 treatments. And the final says so on wither I have to have chemo. My lymph nodes were clear. But im having days of I want out of this house. I don't want to clean even the light work. I've watched TV till I can tell you what has happened before turning it on. Hubby took me out, and all I wanted was to get back home. Loud places make me nervous, and quiet places are too quiet. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to scream, but it scares everyone and then their right on top of me, and that is not a good place to be. Will this ever go away. Knitting is my stress path, but im getting nervous with it also. I have 5 pairs started with no completions. And my bras. Well, let's not go there. Do you all feel this too. Tell me its short term.

Hey Elizabeth, I had some of what you're describing. I'm stage 3b lung cancer in the right upper lobe. The tumor actually dissolved a small portion of my spine and two of my ribs from the spine to where they start to make the turn towards the front. I had a total of 39 radiation treatments and I've been on immunotherapy for a little more than a year, with a total of two years planned. My last two PET scans have not shown any evidence of active cancer cells. I say all of this to let you know that we/you are fully capable of fighting this situation. I think it all starts with a positive attitude. I hope you have a good support system because that is very important as well. I also feel really strong that mental health counseling can be extremely helpful! I use distraction techniques, which work better sometimes than others but they are also important as an option in your journey. Counseling provides you a safe place to express yourself without being judged and the counselor can provide other strategies for relieving your anxiety. I hope that you find this information helpful/useful. I wish you strength to fight like a warrior for the peace you deserve and can achieve! If you feel like you want to have other discussions with me, I would be deeply grateful for the opportunity to share with you. You can fight like a warrior!!!

I sense a lot of people are frightened by being diagnosed with cancer but IF AT ALL POSSIBLE try to surround yourself with people or situations that encourage positivity. Even when found I had stage 4 melanoma and it had spread to brain, bones and lymph nodes, I stayed as positive as possible. Not easy but not impossible . I am now being told my humor and positivity has helped along with my incredible medical team ( immunotherapy, radiation and surgery). Complete remission was not expected but I never take anything for granted. Just remember it’s okay and normal to be scared beyond comprehension but find ANYTHING positive and hang on to it. It really helps. I wish everyone the best of the best and as much healing as possible. It’s definitely a weird place in life.

God bless you. HI lisa, I am so happy to hear that you are cancer free. I am also 5 years cancer free, and we have survived this disease. So go live your life to the best .

In my opinion, no one appreciates what's going on in our minds, no one will really understand. Sounds like you've been through an amazingly horrible time and going back to being normal is a real thing. Sounds to me like you're doing better than 90% of people would! God bless you!

To Elizabeth Hewitt What you have is what I had and is completely 99 percent curable these days. If you read this thread and see what these brave souls are going through,try to be grateful they caught yours at stage 1 -yes 1 Not 2-3-4—You will be fine. I just completed 20 radiations myself with nothing more than a dermatitis itch and some heat in the breast that an ice pack took care of and that wasn’t till about #16. I know it’s scary, I was but now look and read the brave people on these threads and “Gratitude” is my go to place. And to all of you. My heart goes out to you all. I volunteer in a chemo infusion clinic and that helps me also see reality.

The conflicting advice from others can feel overwhelming when navigating life after such a major health journey. Many cancer survivors experience this challenge of rebuilding while managing uncertainty about the future, and finding balance between being grateful and acknowledging the ongoing emotional complexity is completely valid. Consider connecting with other survivors who understand this unique perspective, and remember that taking time to process these feelings doesn't diminish the significance of reaching remission.