How do I tell my kids about my stage 5 breast cancer diagnosis?

Talking to children about a cancer diagnosis is one of the most challenging conversations any parent faces, and it's completely natural to feel uncertain about the best approach. Many parents in this community have found that being honest in age-appropriate ways, focusing on the love and support around them, and reassuring kids about the care being received can help children process difficult news while feeling secure and included in the family's journey.

We were not sure how to tell the family about my diagnosis. Our son in law had previously recovered from lymphoma, so they had been through it before. They were kind of reluctant to tell us at the time. We had a big family dinner one Sunday and told them. Explained what was going on, what the oncologist said and what the treatment plan was. They took it well and were very supportive. I was put in the hospital for a week since I had lost almost 40 pounds. While I was there, our daughter, son in law, 3 grandkids and 2 great grandkids surprised me with a visit, all at the same time. I had my first chemotherapy there. Once I was at home, I started a group chat with them and other family out of state. I let them know what was going on and how I felt after each treatment, test and Dr visit. I also told them what each test said and the doctor's thoughts. Then I would let them know what was coming up next. I think it put them more at ease and I felt better talking about it. Thankfully, I'm in remission now. Right after that, we found out my wife would have to have breast cancer surgery. Been one heck of a year! But we are doing well and thankful for each day together. 52 years now.

Also, you have to plan for what you want after you pass. It may seem like a depressing thing to do, but I think you might feel more at ease once it's completed. Whether it's funeral arrangements, cremation and a will, it helps. You really don't want to burden family with that. And a will distributes whatever assets you might have. Without it, courts & attorneys will eat it up.

It was NOT an easy conversation...at all. However, it was eating me alive carrying that burden and them not knowing. I sat them down Together so that I'd only have to say it once. I TOLD THEM THE TRUTH; the limited information I had at the time of diagnosis. Even though EXTREMELY difficult; they now respect my courage to inform them.