How Can I Reignite My Sex Life with My Husband?

I know this is a silly question, but have you spoken to him? Maybe tell him how you feel. Sometimes, you have to shout it from the rooftop for them to understand. I always consider that our husbands and family are going through this with us, and if we don't communicate what we need, we're only hurting ourselves. And really, why punish yourself? You're going through Hell right now and need all the support and love you can get. I'm with my husband for 26 years as well. Our sex life is nonexistent at the moment, but I know it'll change once I'm feeling myself again. Try to be as positive as you can be. Stay strong sister, you will get through this!!

Hugs sent

And yes I have talked to him and he says that I don’t seem interested so why try

I actually had a pretty low sec drive prior to diagnosis, and I just had initial surgery a few months ago. Recently, I started feeling well, but found out I would need chemo. I have tried to initiate twice Recently ( for one because he says I never do, and two since incase actually feeling better), and he seemed very reluctant. He said it wasn't that he didn't want to, but felt sex should wait until I'm healthier. It might be his way of not trying to add pressure or physical exertion to you while in treatment.

Oh this topic… grrrrr Why do we have to initiate it. Humans just hate vulnerability and rejection! I get it!!!! But intimacy is also so important! Think about that vs sex - It’s the gate-way drug, who know what might happen? If your intimate for a little bit, thats the time (for me) to explain how I am feeling and maybe get him to be vulnerable too in a positive setting. Communication is key and it’s so hard even with out this sickness. I guess I look at it as something is better than nothing ! However, I am no expert over here!! Good luck ! And here is my vertical hug for all 🤗🫶🏻🙏🏻

Maybe there is a middle road here. Consider just a slippery shower together. Get in some cozy cuddles. It is also important to say now may be a little different. The part of your body most males enjoy is now your trouble spot, and you won’t likely feel as appealing as you were. Communication is the key.

During chemo I had sex several times. More towards the start. My spouse isn't scared of my physical presence currently. I had double Mastectomy and full hysterectomy. He walked with me all the way. Massage my scars and all. Though after this whole experience our sex went to null. He was so scared. He didn't want to damage me/hurt me. I did loose a lot of self esteem and security after my mastectomy. So grateful for the hysterectomy. No more painful sex. Though he did have to grieve the loss of old me. We talked much about my new self and his perspective of where I am and he is. Your partner/ spouse does grieve while walking with you. I changed after all this, so did he. I actually am more sexually hightened now. It threw him off. I started listening to him, conversation evolved. Talk, share. Don't receed.

Intimacy challenges after cancer treatment are incredibly common, and it's completely understandable that both physical and emotional changes can affect desire and connection. Many couples find that open communication about needs and expectations, along with exploring new ways to build intimacy beyond just physical touch, can help rebuild that spark. Consider having an honest conversation with your partner about what you're both experiencing, and don't hesitate to reach out to a counselor who specializes in relationships and cancer survivorship - they can offer personalized strategies that work for your unique situation.