When Your Best Friend Avoids Talking About Your Cancer

My best friend hasn’t really reached out to me since my diagnosis. I honestly think that she is scared of losing me and it’s easier not to talk about it thank face it head on. If she’s your best friend you need to tell her it’s bothering you.

May I suggest you join support groups that target in treatment, after treatment etc. Additionally, some support organizations offer assistance to family or framily members support groups as well. I’m sorry this is happening to you. You are amazing so is your “Bestie” give her time. Be Well. I definitely have been through similar. 💕 huge diagnosis is hide.💕

My friend QUIT TALKING TO ME.

I understand, going through a lot of the same..I think no one can understand until you have it happen to you 🙏 it's not intentionally done, they just don't know how to react.

I'm so sorry, unfortunately people have a hard time dealing with cancer. A friend of mine and I have been ghosted from the whole group of friends we both share. We were both diagnosed around the same time.

I'm sorry. I didn't avoid friends & relatives who contracted bad diseases. I've never been fluffy. MY aunt died of breast cancer. 2 of my best friends had bladder, lung & pancreatic cancer. The people who deserted me are cowards & I don't claim them any longer. No excuses. My daughter is being wonderful although she has NO spare time & is stressed with work, kids & also lives 50 miles away, but still went in to see my drs with me on 3 or 4 occasions that I needed her for, including my lumpectomy. My son had a harder time but still called me to tell me the statistics are good & that he has faith in me, even tho he was previously was mad at me. My brother calls me on the phone from another state. My boyfriend still comes over to my house and his MOTHER is dying of cancer. My DOG won't leave my side & my horse follows me AWAY from the pasture & herd & puts his nose on my shoulder. My one girlfriend has DRIVEN me 40 miles to 8 or 10 appts. And with all of that I STILL feel alone sometimes. It's hard living alone. So I will definitely volunteer to help other diagnosed women for the rest of my life. So YES those other people can GO. DEFINITELY GO. I wish they had gone sooner.

My mom is using my breast cancer to get sympathy and attention for herself. I was diagnosed in July and had surgery in August and will have surgery again in 2 weeks. My husband is very supportive but he freaks out when I show any type of emotion about the cancer. I've started crying in the bathroom stall at work or in my car so I don't show any emotion at home. I just want to scream sometimes because I get so frustrated with people telling me how I should feel about this.

My Parents Provide no Emotional support at all...I have Stage 4 Breast Cancer...I plead...but I stopped because I Have to think what the negativity is doing to me...

Reading these comments have made me less resentment towards my Parents...I kind of understand their position...I am their Only Child...

Same here. My husband is telling everyone that my surgery was best scenario outcome and now getting texts of congratulations. Truth is I haven't even received my pathology report or lymph node biopsy results. I feel like everyone thinks it's over now such a lonely place to be

Agreed. Unless you have traveled this path you don't understand how lonely this cancer tri

Let me finish that. Trip can be. There's a TV show where one of the main characters has breast cancer. All of her friends rally around and support her through her entire treatment. That is so unrealistic. But I will help anyone of you I can. Chins up, ladies!! We have each other!!

I agree… this is a very lonely path!

I was feeling the same way when my friend wouldn’t talk about it with me or call me. It’s almost as if she’s too busy for me. after a while I realized she simply can’t handle the pain of watching her best friend go through this. Some people are stronger than others. She had just gone through a painful divorce, and her family was totally split up. She was trying to find happiness in her life and I didn’t fit in. I can understand but it still hurts..  you expect your friends to be there for you when you really need them.

Just remember you DO have a support even though it isn't physically right next to you.

Have you heard of Cancer Companions?

I haven't so I am going to look it up. Thanks!

My mother does the same thing. Unfortunately I just stopped talking about it all together. I don’t really talk to my family much anymore and they moved 1,500 miles away. I’m blessed to have a best friend that I can talk to about anything. Hoping you find someone who you can confide in. ❤️

The first time my Best friend tried helping me, but I could tell it was very hard on her. And I was at a point that I had enough trouble getting thru the last 10 of 35 radiation treatment, so I had to back away for a little bit. It’s hard for you to understand if you’ve never experienced it. I felt so alone!

I’m not sure how to handle letting people know what I’m going through. Part of me doesn’t want to say anything so I’m not hurt if they don’t give anything back and part wants to so I feel like I have more support. My mother since my father passed 2 yrs ago treats me like a step daughter she doesn’t have time for and my sister can’t be bothered, even though I was there when her husbands was dying from cancer and rarely left her side. These 2 have cut me so deep, processing is very difficult. Try not to think about it so I can stay positive for my recovery. I don’t know how to do this for me. I’ve done it for others my whole life, and I don’t like the shoe on the other foot.

I just started this journey. I’ve had some support from family and friends. I keep hearing think positive, you’ve got this but in the back of my mind I’m terrified. I really don’t want them to know how terrified I am. Is that the right thing to do? I catch myself crying everytime I’m alone anymore. I FEEL alone even though I have support. I think of nothing but this horrible disease. It’s consuming my every thought. How do you deal with the loneliness and anxiety??

Hi Stacey! Speaking from experience, those I shared my diagnosis with showed me who they really are! I have had so many disappointments along this journey! I didn’t share it with many so I ended up feeling alone, isolated and abandoned more often than not! I wonder if things would’ve been different if I had shared it with more family/friends. I’m an only child and my mother passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2016. I too did not share all of my fears or concerns with a lot of people for the same reasons as you! The cancer dx alone had my thoughts all over the place. I wanted to tell people, but I didn’t want the pity attention. I wanted to people to want to be around me because they loved me not because they thought I was going to die so they had pity on me! I struggle fault with my emotions! Prayer 🙏🏽 is what keeps me going!!! I pray things get better for you and that you receive the help, compassion and encouragement that you need! Brace yourself, the road will be a little rocky but if you don’t lose FAITH you will make it to the other side of this 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽 Be intentional with your feelings!

Hi Karen L. I read your message and I just want to cry for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope and pray for you that you can get some support. Check out the Mayo Clinic Web site. They have a good quasi support group there with breast cancer as well as other groups like for caregivers, depression, etc. I've gotten some useful information checking in on that site from time to time. I'm not sure where you are at with your relationship with God, but He has helped me. Praying, reading supportive Christian books. The Life God Blessed by Gordon MacDonald is a good one. Just know that I'm thinking of and praying for you

Stacy W. It is weird to me how alone I/we feel even though I had (some) support. That is one of the surprising emotions I went through in the beginning (I was diagnosed in July 2023). I have a husband and sisters (a brother but I hate to say he didn't have a clue to any family issues even though he was informed). I don't like to think how disappointed I was at times. Maybe my expectations were too high? I dont know. Sometimes I just wish someone would call to see how I'm doing. Or hug me and just sit with me and talk or just watch a movie with me... Anyway, my coping and not feeling so lonely has been getting better over time

And Danielle C I agree with what you say about faith and prayer! I like the word " intentional". My small group Bible study is using that word as a focus for our next few meetings 💜.