Should I leave my church to avoid seeing my ex who left me during cancer treatment?

Communities›Relationships›Should I leave my church to avoid seeing my ex who left me during cancer treatment?

GD

Community Member

5 months ago

I'm Gary, and I have stage 4 colon cancer. I've been through 7 chemo treatments so far, and everything is looking positive from my scans. I will have to have a huge portion of my colon removed eventually. At the beginning of my diagnosis, the love of my life left me and has gone quiet. We see each other every week at church, and it hurts me every time to see her. Should I leave the church because of my feelings? I love her deeply and want to reconnect one day. Her reasons for walking away are because of her fears. She has OCD and it's a battle to get through her fears. Do I be patient, or do I move on. We haven't spoken in a couple of months. She gets scared when I come around her, so I leave her alone.

7 comments

Comment

Accepted Answer

This is such a difficult situation to navigate while already dealing with cancer treatment. Many patients face relationship challenges during their cancer journey, and it's completely understandable to feel torn between maintaining your spiritual community and protecting your emotional well-being. Consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in cancer support or your care team about strategies for managing these complex feelings - you deserve support in all aspects of your healing, both physical and emotional.

3+ patients found this helpful

RR

Community Member

5 months ago

Hi Gary! Sorry to hear this! Everyone reacts differently when they hear about your cancer. You didn’t say your wife so I’m assuming she wasn’t. Focus on yourself! Treatments, and recovery should be your priority. Don’t look for reasons or excuses from people that don’t want to stay. Find another church and people who will support you, people that will only be around when things are good or going right have no place in your journey. Move on quietly, stay focused on yourself , and don’t look backwards. Good luck! Stay strong!💪 🙏

5

GD

Community Member

5 months ago

Thanks. I'm staying with this church. The entire community surrounded me with so much support. I'm not leaving for one person. Even though it hurt.

1

GS

Community Member

5 months ago

Hey Gary, I agree with Richard. It's all about you, journey, and your health. It's is certainly not easy, especially when we need as much support as possible, but the stress of the situation you are in can be even more harmful to you. Stay in the fight 👊🏼...Best wishes moving forward.

3

EL

Community Member

5 months ago

Move on

EL

Community Member

5 months ago

Keep your peace !

1

MW

Community Member

4 months ago

Dear Gary She wasn’t the one The one will stay with you and stay by you through thick and thin That person is still out there waiting for you to meet them Stay strong keep focused on your healing and do things to make you happy and interesting

1

CA

Community Member

2 months ago

This is such a difficult situation to navigate while already dealing with cancer treatment. Many patients face relationship challenges during their cancer journey, and it's completely understandable to feel torn between maintaining your spiritual community and protecting your emotional well-being. Consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in cancer support or your care team about strategies for managing these complex feelings - you deserve support in all aspects of your healing, both physical and emotional.

Should I leave my church to avoid seeing my ex who left me during cancer treatme...

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