Am I pushing away my husband during my cancer journey?

As much as you don’t want to take your husband from his job, understandably so, you MUST take someone with you to your oncology appt. There is too much information that your brain will not absorb. Do you have a family member or friend that can go with you? At the very least record the meeting on your phone and listen it to later so you can then write down questions that your mind will not think of during the appt. Most Drs use acronyms or their medical shorthand speak and you will need to have them dumb it down. Don’t be afraid to tell them to explain it in laymen’s terms. 

Dawna, he is dead set on being with me, as he should. And as far as having them dumb it down, I have no problem telling them to stop using the $25 words. My education only paid for the $10 ones..lol. Thank you for the ideal of recording it. That will help a lot!!! I know there is going to be a shit ton of information thrown at me. Thank you

My sister insisted on going to mine. I made her sit in the waiting room. I recorded everything on my phone. This is my life, my cancer, and my decisions. I didn’t want anyone else’s bias or emotions or energy influencing my decision. It’s ok to set boundaries and maintain your autonomy thru this. I hope it goes well for you today.

We now know what we are fighting. He was by my side, and I'm so glad he was. We had already talked about the attack plan I had in mind. And he agreed to back my choices 1000%. I have stage 4 her2 + breast cancer.

@Angie, What is your treatment plan?

Angie, sending you healing thoughts. My husband was off work for a year due to spine surgery and had gone back to work just a day before my first oncologist appt to find out treatment plan. I too said I could go by myself but he insisted he go. In the end I’m glad he was there. If I’m learning anything through this it’s that, yes this is my disease, but my family is dealing with their own emotions about it too, so I’m learning to accept help and not trying to be Wonder Woman 100 percent of the time. It helps others deal when we let them help. Love to you.

Dawna, right now, we are waiting on the pet ( 8am 5/6,25). I am still doing research because I am not doing chemo. I have found a few promising possibilities.

Michelle, I was very glad he went. I am coming to terms with needing help. I have always been the caregiver, so ..lol. that for reminding that them helping me helps them deal with all this. I officially started my FLMA. I plan on picking flowers and finishing a king-size granny square.

My husband has been to every oncologist appointment and every bone infusion I have. It does matter to have that support but I understand the part of roof over your head. My husband uses every sick day and every vacation day he has to be with me. Take him. You'll be happy you did.

Absolutely have someone with you! It’s important to your cancer treatment and education about your own. It’s a lot of foreign info to absorb. I find myself discussing all of it with my daughters and hubby’s presence much to my benefit. Different perspectives, different questions. Good luck to you

Hey Angie, this is your journey and I think you should be able to take it on your own terms. Having said that, I also think that your journey can be improved by having support along the way. I hope you are able to find a successful treatment plan.

Hey Angie, I hope things are going well for you. Do you have an update you would like to share with us? I'm sending you strength and positive energy to assist you in your journey.

What you're experiencing is incredibly common during cancer treatment - many people feel conflicted between needing support and wanting independence, or feel emotionally distant even when their loved ones are doing everything right. These complex feelings don't mean you're pushing him away or doing anything wrong; they're a natural response to the overwhelming stress and uncertainty that comes with a cancer diagnosis. Consider having an open conversation with your partner about these feelings when you're ready, as many couples find that acknowledging these challenges together actually strengthens their bond during treatment.