How do you cope when chemo treatments feel overwhelming and you're unsure about ...

my name is amie im going through chemo.. carbo/taxol/ atezizolubam.. no avastin due to having fistulas form from previous radiation.. this is my third battle with this..i ended up with a diversonal loop illeostomy, and bilateral nephrostomy tubes.. i recently had metallic stents pur in but one kidney is still having issues.. this has been the hardest thing i have had to go through. im going to do my 5 treatment, had pet scan after my 3 treatment and my body is responding good.. my doctor seemed pleased with it.. reading the stories here gives me alot of hope.. they say i have poorly differential hpv positive carcinoma originally thought I had andecarcanoma.. anyway the treatment has not been easy. originally 6 treatment and evaluate.. maybe 3 more, but honestly i don't want to do korye