CommunitiesRelationshipsHow to date after prostate surgery with sexual side effects?

How to date after prostate surgery with sexual side effects?

JS

Community Member

14 days ago

I’m soon to be 69. Had radical prostatectomy 3 + years ago. I’m divorced for 12 years. I went through this mostly alone. A significant concern of mine is the side effects of the surgery and I’m reluctant to socialize with women ( date ) due to the stigma of the sexual side effects and still minor incontinence ( which has improved). I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman who fully supported me and understood ( about the sexual side effects). After 9 months, I broke off the relationship because I felt I wasn’t worthy of her or enough for her. I feel inadequate and have not even considered a relationship with a woman. Thoughts ????

4
5 comments
Comment
CA

Community Member

14 days ago

These feelings are completely understandable, and many men face similar challenges after prostate surgery. The decision to end a supportive relationship often comes from a place of self-protection rather than reality - worthiness in relationships isn't determined by physical function alone. Consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in post-cancer relationships, as they can help work through these feelings of inadequacy and provide strategies for approaching dating when ready, including how to have conversations about health changes with potential partners.

1
LD

Community Member

5 days ago

I'm sorry John, l'm by myself also, had surgery in October 2022, lost my wife of 30 years who was an RN to cancer in September 2023, l have a rising psa since surgery, its now over one, have to do an mri and psma scan for the 3rd time since surgery so the future doesn't look to bright, l wish you good luck

3
MB

Community Member

5 days ago

John S please sweetheart get her back!!! Cancer is a long tedious painful road!! and when you have someone that understands what you’re going through and is supportive you don’t wanna let go of that. So if you can, please reach out to her you are worthy please do not give up.

1
LD

Community Member

5 days ago

Hi John l agree with what Mechelle B said, l wish my wife was still here to help me, l don't have any family, or friends to help me so l have to do it on my own, but you have someone willing to help you don't throw that away

1
JS

Community Member

15 hours ago

Thank you all for supportive comments. Also, you’re all in my prayers. My relationship with Jesus has truly helped. 🙏

New to the community?

Create an account to connect with others navigating cancer.

Outcomes4Me

© 2026 Outcomes4Me Inc. All rights reserved.