Getting a colostomy bag can change your life in ways you may not have expected, especially emotionally. While much of the early focus is on healing and learning how to manage the bag physically, the mental and emotional impact can feel heavy, and sometimes even harder to talk about.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, self-conscious, anxious, or grieving the changes to your body, you’re not alone—and there is nothing “wrong” with you for feeling this way. Adjusting to a colostomy is a process, and emotional healing deserves the same care as physical recovery.

It’s normal to grieve the change

Many people experience a sense of loss after getting a colostomy. You may miss how your body worked before, or feel frustrated that life now requires more planning. Some people feel sadness, anger, or even resentment. These feelings don’t mean you’re ungrateful for lifesaving treatment. They simply mean you’re human. Giving yourself permission to grieve can be an important first step toward acceptance.

You may experience shifts in body image and mental health after ostomy surgery, including feelings including:

• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety or depression
• Shame or resentment
• Social withdrawal
• Changes in relationships or intimacy

What you’re feeling is valid

It’s normal to grieve the body you had before your surgery. Your colostomy may represent survival, health, or a second chance at life — and it may also represent adjustment, loss, and frustration, all at once. These feelings can coexist.

Practical ways to feel better emotionally

Share your story

Talking about your experience, whether with a friend, partner, support group, or therapist, can be freeing. Sharing honestly often reduces isolation, helps you feel understood, and may even help others learn and feel less alone, too.

Focus on what you can control

Some things (like needing a colostomy) are out of your control, but there are many aspects of your life that aren’t. Your hobbies, your relationships, the ways you take care of yourself, and how you choose to talk about your body are all areas where you have agency. Focusing on these can help you feel grounded.

Practice gratitude and mindfulness for what your body can do

This isn’t about forcing positivity, it’s about gently reminding yourself that your body is resilient and has given you a chance to live and heal. Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help you with stress management, anxiety, and depression. 

Integrative Oncologist and Hematologist Dr. Krisstina Gowin at City of Hope also recommends shifting how you think about “threatening perspectives.” She says, “Reframing empowers you to know that no matter what happens around you, the response to it is what we can change.” 

Educate yourself and break myths

Many people carry misconceptions about colostomy bags, like assuming they always smell, are always visible under clothes, or dramatically limit life. The truth is that modern systems are designed to contain odor and be discreet. Learning how your pouch system works and what’s normal can boost your confidence.

Build a support system that helps you thrive

Support can make a huge difference, whether it comes from:

• Healthcare professionals
• Family and friends
• Partners
• Support groups
• Online communities

Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences reminds you that life after a colostomy can be rich, full, and meaningful.

You’re not alone. Join the Outcomes4Me Community for a safe space to share your story and connect with others who share your diagnosis.