CommunitiesProstate Cancer

Prostate Cancer

Join others facing prostate cancer.

9.0K members

Why do I feel like prey instead of a fighter facing cancer treatment?

GO

Community Member

4 days ago

I woke up at 3:40 a.m. Not because of a noise. Not because of a dream. But because cancer likes to remind you who’s in charge at hours when the world is too quiet to argue back. There’s something about the darkness that gives your brain permission to open all the doors you keep locked during the day. And tonight, mine kicked every one of them open. I lay there in bed staring at the ceiling—the same ceiling I’ve stared at a thousand times before, but that night it felt… thinner. Like everything above me was made of paper and the world outside was pressing its thumb into it, trying to get in. And for some reason, in that pitch-black half-conscious panic, I found myself thinking about apex predators. Real ones. The kind that roam jungles and swamps, not hospitals. It hit me like a punch: Cancer is the apex predator of the human world. The thing no one wants to acknowledge. The thing we pretend we’ve mastered but don’t understand. The thing that stalks from inside instead of the shadows. We humans walk around like we’re invincible, like we climbed to the top of the food chain and stayed there. We conquered sabertooths. We outran wildfires. We invented Wi-Fi, for God’s sake. But then cancer shows up, uninvited, silent, pissed off, and suddenly we’re reminded: We never stopped being prey. We just stopped wanting to admit it. And there I was at 3:40 a.m., realizing that tomorrow, Monday, I’d be marching into the hospital for a targeted imaging scan. A map. A blueprint. A “here’s where the monster lives” diagram. Because on top of everything else, cancer makes you a cartographer of your own body. And then there’s hormone therapy, which starts tomorrow as well—like some twisted initiation ritual. Day one of chemical manopause. Day one of shutting down the hormone that basically makes you you. I laughed in the dark. A short, breathless, cracked laugh. Because what else do you do? How absolutely ridiculous is it that the best weapons science has handed us for fighting the apex predator include: blasting it with radiation beams poisoning it with chemicals and turning off testosterone like it’s a faulty breaker switch This is what we’ve got. This is humanity’s arsenal. And we’re supposed to pretend we’re not terrified? But here’s the real punch: Even doctors admit it, we don’t really know much about cancer. Not in the grand scheme. Not compared to what it’s capable of. We know how to treat it. Sometimes. We know how to buy time. Sometimes. We know how to shrink it, burn it, slice it out. But understand it? Not even close. We’re standing in the jungle holding a flashlight and a pocketknife while a creature we can barely see circles us. And yet… tomorrow I’ll still walk into that hospital. On time. Sober. Scared. Determined. Ready in the way a man can only be when he doesn’t have another option. That’s what they don’t tell you about this fight: You don’t feel brave. Not once. Not for a second. You feel hunted. Exposed. Unprepared. Like prey that’s pretending to be a predator because everyone keeps telling you to “stay strong.” Here’s the truth no one says out loud: Strength isn’t loud. It isn’t heroic. It isn’t cinematic. Sometimes strength is just lying awake at 3:40 a.m. feeling the weight of tomorrow pressing on your chest, and still deciding to show up anyway. Sometimes it’s letting yourself be terrified. And then getting in the car at 7 a.m. and going to the appointment even though every part of your brain is screaming to run. The apex predator wants silence. Isolation. Shame. It wants you small. But humans? We’re stubborn bastards. We’ll fight something we don’t understand with weapons we barely trust, because the alternative is lying down and letting it have us. And that’s not happening. Not without a war. So I’ll face tomorrow. Hormones, radiation, scans, all of it. Not because I’m brave but because I’m too damn alive to give this thing the satisfaction. Let the apex predator circle. I’m circling back. This isn’t the chapter where I win. This is the chapter where I get up at 3:40 a.m., stare into the dark, and decide: Not today.

3
7 comments
Comment

What treatment options exist for stage 4 prostate cancer with bone mets?

CM

Community Member

6 days ago

Are You Ready ? ! Okay, here we go..... So, I am trying to do my due diligence, and Not Just Settle or "Go with the Flow" regarding today's Medical Treatments and Therapies available for Prostate Cancer Treatments... However, I am Very Grateful for what is available, otherwise I Definitely Would Not Have Been Able to Write This ! I am very open and very interested in learning about the possibilities of other effective and proven methods that are available Out There, Anywhere, for someone diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer that has metastasized to some Bone and Lymph Nodes ? I am sure it probably depends on a lot of factors, but I am just trying to obtain some good, basic information to research... ... In December of 2024, it was me who was presented with this unfortunate scenario that I just described... My name is Frederick G... Basically, I have been extremely Blessed with very good health throughout my entire lifetime up until this happened… What prompted me to go to the Emergency Room on that Friday at noon on December 20th, 2024 of the hospital that I was actually born at in 1963, was that I had not been feeling well and started to notice some traces of Blood in my Urine (I apologize for the graphics, but it is what it is) which came and went away. Then it started again, and gradually it became Thick Blood and then Thicker Blood… Also, I was having issues with my Left Leg Swelling and becoming Quite Painful. To make a long story-short, for the next 11 Hours in the ER, in which much Blood-Work and different Imaging took place, I was Admitted to the Hospital, transferred to a room, and a Catheter was inserted in me. The very next morning, it was explained to me that I needed immediate surgery on my Left Leg. It was determined that my Left Leg had DVT (Deep-Vein-Thrombosis) After Surgery, the Blood Clots were Biopsied. Between that and many other Imaging, and Lots of Blood-Work, etc., it was later determined for sure on December 30th, that I had Stage 4 Prostate Cancer which metastasized... Initially, my PSA Level was 2337... Moving forward, after being treated, initially with Bicalutamide for some time, then to Lupron Injections on 3-month intervals, along with 1000 Mg of Abiraterone taken orally each Day, which is still my regiment to this day... Gradually my PSA Level diminished to 95 as of November 3rd, 2025, and I have been Catheter-Free since mid June of 2025... I apologize for the long explanation, however, I thought this information would possibly be helpful for someone out there that could possibly help me and help others... I'm completely open, so please anyone out there that can offer any legitimate advice, I would love to receive some input... Thank You Very Much For Your Consideration, It Is Greatly Appreciated ! - God Bless Each and Every One of You 🙏🕊️ And GodSpeed To ALL Cancer Patients ! Let's work together to put an End to this ! AMEN 🙏 🕊️ ❤️ -Freddie G

8 comments
Comment

New to the community?

Create an account to connect with others navigating cancer.

Outcomes4Me

© 2025 Outcomes4Me Inc. All rights reserved.